So for the second half of Thanksgiving we ventured to Dyersburg. There it was the typical antics of siblings, enhanced by great food, drink, and the encouragement of our parents. Roland and Aria had a high time as usual, with lessons at the piano and pool table, super naps along with everyone else (there really is 13 or more places to nap) and a hour after hour of entertainment from my parents, sibs and Nash. Thanks Nana and Grandpa Bob for welcoming us all to your house again.
But the real story of Thanksgiving in Dyersburg has little to do with any holiday or tradition, it has to do with poop. Yes, this Thanksgiving there were plenty of funny moments, like when Calen jumped the couch, or Mom turned to Jen and I and said this sentence, "I remember when she was just a soft porn star." (You'd just had to be there to understand) However, on Friday night after Mom and I had put together most of the meal we decided to take Nash for a quick walk. I left Aria and Roland in the trusted care of Kris, Jen, Calen, Evan and my Dad. 2 kids, 5 adults. Not unusual. Be back in 15 minutes.
For reference, my parents driveway is about three-fourths of a mile long. Mom and I were at the end, about to venture out into the neighborhood when we heard a male voice yelling out into the night from the backdoor in our direction. I yelled back, but no response. Assuming it is nothing we went for our walk. When I returned, I found Roland in Jennifer's care, Evan no where to be seen, Calen getting his breath back...where was Aria? In the back bedroom getting a diaper change by Kristen, with my Dad hovering on either side of her, like a mosquito in August, and when he told me this story, he laid on the floor, wiping tears from his eyes it was that funny.
So, I guess right after I left, Aria pooped. And apparently this wasn't just a hey-lets-wait-till-El-gets-back poop, it was a sound-the-alarm poop. Jen discovered it when she asked Calen if he farted, when he said no, they checked Roland. Calen picked up Aria and put her in his arm and then realized, to his horror, that it was from her and leaking. He quickly passed her to Jen, smelled his clothes, which were clean, but now fragrant of her tushy, and started dry-heaving. The break down happened when there were no diapers in the diaper bag. Que mass pandemonium.
My Dad and other brother are now in on the hot-potato-pass-Aria game, while every free hand is digging frantically through everything we brought and then some looking for a spare diaper. Calen decides to yell out into the night, "Where are the diapers!" which is what we heard at the end of the drive. My Dad - for reasons we still don't understand - starts calling everyone's cell phone. Kristen comes downstairs from upstairs and his first words to her are, "Why didn't you answer your phone?" "Because. I. was. up. stairs?" Now Kris has Aria, Dad's taken a knee to dig through our upstairs bags, Calen and Evan have excused themselves (not surprising). Finally, someone, congratulations, finds the huge stack I have stashed in the car and proceeds to change Aria. Wow.
Next I guess it was so out of control Jen, Calen and Evan couldn't watch and somehow Aria ended up in the bathroom sink. Amazing. So when I got there, Calen was still inspecting his shirt sleeve for any trace of I-don't-know-what, Evan was cracking up at Calen, Jen was rethinking her choice in boyfriends, Dad can barely breath he's cracking up trying to retell what just unfolded and Kris proudly hands off Aria and makes a bee-line for the bar. Roland's clueless and Aria's happy as a calm. Except for that part about the cold tushy wash in the sink.
So, if you made it this far in the story, you might not think that wasn't funny at all. Oh well. To all there it was hilarious because, like Calen said, "If you could have torn off the roof and watched us running around like crazy for 10 minutes you'd understand just how nuts it was. Over a diaper." Thanks everyone for taking such great care of my kids. I love you.
Feel free to leave me a comment if I omitted any of the details and you want to set the record straight.
No comments:
Post a Comment